Tipping The Scales

     No, that is not a reference to the baby weight that is clinging to me as if for dear life (all 25 pounds of it--dear Lord!) I am currently seeking a little balance in my life. I appear to be somewhat off-kilter. And by that I mean:

This small person takes up all of my time. I mean all. Even when he's asleep, which he only is during the day for 30 minutes at a time, I am racing around the house doing his laundry, setting up his bottles for the next round and looking for spare minutes to swipe the kitchen counters with a rag and swiffer the living room. This is nothing new. Every new mother faces this, I know. I'm just looking for ways to combat the problem. Because currently in neglect are the following:

Mr. Wonderful
The House
The Cat
The Dog
My Friends
Myself

     Although I may be the happiest I've ever been, I do see the problem areas. I just can't get to them, because Junior is hungry or wet or tired or bored or lonely or smiling (which means I always want to hang around and make him smile some more). We recently (and finally) purchased a baby monitor. Which I believe overall is a wonderful thing but now I have compounded my problems by the fact that while he's in his crib sleeping, I'm in the living room watching him sleep on the monitor. I've named it "Beau TV--all Beau, all the time". The really sick part is that I like to watch him wake up--so I can race to his side before he starts crying.

                                    Anything to avoid seeing that particular expression on his face
This pretty much ensures that not a lot is accomplished while he's snoozing. I would love to be able to, in addition to caring for Junior, keep a clean house, work out every day, chat with friends for a few minutes, wash/dry/straighten my hair a couple times a week, give the cat a few minutes of attention and still have the energy left over to make out with my husband (if you're reading this Dad, I'm really sorry!)
If I'm not going to be able to do it all, how on earth do I decide where to make "cuts"?

Goodbye...and Goodbye

     This week has been chock-full of BIG news for Mr. Wonderful, Junior and I. We have been planning, since Junior was about a week old, to travel to Virginia for Christmas so Junior could spend his first Christmas with his Grandaddy (my Dad). But unfortunately, Thursday rolled around and we learned that the owners of our home, who for the past 5 years have been missionaries to China, are coming back...and they want their house back. We have to be out of here by January 1st. So no Christmas with my family this year. :( I was heartbroken. Really looking forward to that trip.
The frustrating part about all this is that we weren't going to be officially ready to buy a house until after the first of the year. So...we're going to have to move twice. The first move will be into temporary housing that we may have already lined up:

     So, not too bad. It's waaaay far away from the city and from where we ultimately want to end up, but temporary is the key word here. Besides, it looks pretty nice and the owners have been really pleasant so far. AND they accept both cats and dogs--SCORE!
     That was Thursday's news. 24 hours later, our mechanic told us that our SUV should be sold immediately...before the engine blew on us. Wow. Just...wow. By this time I was so preoccupied with our housing situation that I almost took this news in stride. As if someone had simply said to me "I like peanuts." I give credit to Mr. Wonderful for how he handled each of these situations. He immediately found us the temporary housing (I mean 5 minutes after we got our notice) and today--he sold our SUV. Now all we need is a permanent residence and a vehicle. No biggie. :)

So, tell me: Ever been hit with a major double whammy like this??

Hello There Self...

     As my previous blog posts have made abundantly clear, being pregnant and having a child is all-consuming. Every waking thought is in some way centered around said child--their needs, their wants, and in my case--frantically coming up with ideas to entertain him during his wakeful times. (Mr. Wonderful has no worries in this department, as he is naturally entertaining, and elicited Junior's first laugh from him just last week.)
     But there comes a point when you begin to miss...well, yourself. Just a little. The aspects of yourself that make you uniquely you; your hobbies, and as discussed in detail on SATC, the quirky things you do when you're alone. (I believe they referred to it as Secret Single Behavior, but it applies to anybody!)

    
     Just this week, I have begun to make a slight comeback. On Sunday evening I went shopping for long, baggy tunics and sweaters, and cheap jeans in a size I hope will shortly be far too large for me. Earlier on Sunday I had washed, dried and straightened my hair. This process takes me about an hour so it was no small task. But it made me feel more like me. The girl with the frizzy hair piled on top of her head that's been lurking around my house in a bathrobe for the past 8 weeks is not going to be here forever--I'm determined! And to add to the increase in "self" I've seen lately, I got up this morning and combined the following ingredients in a blender:

1 scoop chocolate protein powder
1 banana
5 large frozen strawberries
1 cup strawberry-banana V8 Fusion
1 handful fresh spinach

And I drank it all! Minus the workout that usually follows a protein shake like this, it reminded me very much of the morning routine I had in place prior to pregnancy. The workouts will come as soon as my brother-in-law can help Mr. Wonderful move my treadmill back into our office...poor Todd!
    
     All these little activities are so small--tiny, really--that nobody else would think it remarkable that I've managed to incorporate them back into my days. But really, it's huge. In 8 weeks I've gone from feeling as though I were flying by the seat of my pants without a parachute to driving on a paved road with the occasional pothole. It is impossible to do this (parenting) long-term without taking care of yourself, without treating yourself and without reminding yourself to be yourself. It was a gradual wake-up call for me. I am not just Junior's mama. I'm still me, I'm still Mr. Wonderful's wife, I'm still a daughter and I'm still a friend.
     The friend aspect especially is something that I realized today I have been failing miserably to do. A close friend, who is pregnant and the mother to an almost 10 month old lives what feels like forever away. She sounded so tired when I spoke to her today. I realized I have not asked her how she was feeling near enough as of late, and was so surprised to hear she's going out of the country next week! Every conversation with her the past few weeks has been about Junior, and she's been more than happy to help me with my issues with his napping problems.
I have not kept up with others' goings-on as I should--I've let the parenting role dominate me! Today is going to be the start of reverting back to the old me in that department as well--taking an active interest in those I care so much about.

So, tell me: Any major event in your life ever lead you to neglect being you?

Sickly Prickly

     I had not been sick in a year, maybe a little more. And that's amazing, because I'm one of those--know me long enough and you'll experience my sinus infections, colds and flus right along with me. I get sick multiple, multiple times a year. But as soon as I was pregnant--wham! Sickness didn't stand a chance with me. According to my doctor, it's because your body approaches a baby in your uterus as a foreign object. Baby isn't wholly made up of you, he or she has your husband in them too. So to deal with this, your body makes tons and tons of steroids...which in turn kept me from getting sick. Fast-forward to Junior at his six and a half week old mark...and I'm sick. Sore throat, weak, a cough and a headache. In other words, I feel lousy. And since Mr. Wonderful is on the tail end of illness himself...it's not too fun around here. I have come to the conclusion that if I'm sick, I can tolerate no other stressors before I become extremely irritable; read: prickly.

Add to all this the fact that Junior is less than a fan of napping. And by that I mean he screams bloody murder for the majority of the time he's in his crib. We've tried swaddling, not swaddling, pacifier, no pacifier, warmer outfit, cooler outfit, a bath beforehand...

with no luck. As I write, this very second--he is hollering to the extent that I fear the neighbors will call CPS to accuse me of beating my child. But when I check on him--he is fine. He's crabby and tired but doesn't want to nap. Mr. Wonderful questions whether he is truly my child, as I lay down to nap and am out before my head hits the pillow--for hours. We're lucky to get 20 minutes out of Junior. So the new method we're trying is to put him down for a nap every couple of hours and just see what happens. It worked this morning at 7:30 like a charm...less so at 10:30 but he still napped, and when I put him down 15 minutes ago, well--I may never hear quite right in my left ear ever again. That being said--it's getting better. Only now do I hear the fan and his Sleep Sheep's ocean sounds in his room (trying to get him accustomed to the ocean!) rather than his tonsils vibrating around in his little head.

                  Yes, this was taken 7 weeks ago, but not much has changed...that's still his mad-face. :)
     In order to ensure that Mr. Wonderful and I do not strangle each other during this most frustrating of times (illness, screaming baby, etc.) we will, I believe, have to find a regular reliable babysitter and make sure we bring back Date Night, stat. One recommendation is...

     He's reliable, I'll give him that. And the two of them are very interested in each other. He's generous too. During one of Junior's earlier-on crying fits (this was before we figured out his tummy issues), I opened Junior's door to leave his room and Tyson had brought the baby a toy and a bone and set them down outside his door. :) We have promised Tyson a saddle when Junior's a little older so he can offer the baby "pony rides".
     I am off to finish reading "Baby Wise". I would stop at this point, as I am somewhat frustrated by all the varying parental advice out there, but I never feel good about stopping a book before I've finished it...unless it's a text book. :)

The Things You Do For Love

     Mr. Wonderful is a patient man. He puts up with my moods, my snoring at night (pregnancy did this to me!) and my penchant for watching the same black-and-white movies over and over...and over yet again. So when his one request in seemingly forever was that we dress for Halloween as a family unit, I felt I had to acquiesce. Little did I know what I had agreed to. Here we are:

And again:

And yes, that's Junior decked out as a penguin as well--Mr. Wonderful's favorite animal. Thanks to my brother-in-law Brandon, for keeping a straight face long enough to snap these photos. :) I guess if I was willing to move to Kansas (still trying to cope with that decision all these years later) I should be able to humiliate myself in a penguin costume for him too. After all, he isn't Mr. Wonderful for nothin'.
Have a happy and safe Halloween, everyone!
So, tell me: What was the most embarassing thing you ever did for a loved one?

3:20

     No, it isn't the time as I write. No, it's not my average marathon time. It also isn't the amount of time it takes for me to get myself and my child out the door (although it's not far off).
3 hours and 20 minutes happens to be the length of time that Junior cried today...straight. From 2:00 until 2 minutes ago, when I had the bright idea to plug in a box fan in his room and crank it on high. Ever seen the movie "Life As We Know It", with Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel? I watched a snippet of it last night for the 20th time and as I was nearing the end of my rope this afternoon I remembered a scene where they hold the baby up to the fan above the stove in the kitchen. Quick as a flash, I grab Junior and the next thing he knows, he's being rocked over the stove with the fan blasting. For about a minute and a half, there was peace for the first time in hours. It was just the two of us, gently swaying and enjoying the white noise of the fan. It gave me enough time to remark to myself (again) that he was quite possibly the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. (It's hard to see all his bee-yoo-tifulness when he's red in the face and screaming.) And then the peace and love fest was over, and he reared back and deafened me in my left ear.
Today also happens to mark his one month birthday...and the first day of his life that when he cries, actual tears come out. It makes his unhappy moments that much sadder for me. Real tears=real heartbreak in my book. Even if they're really of the crocodile variety.
I thank the Lord that I remembered the old white box fan of Dusty's that we'd stored away in Beau's closet. I had meant to take it apart and give it a good cleaning before its first use in Junior's room, but this was an emergency. Dust be danged. My son was going to go hoarse and I was going to go deaf, and the dog was going to wear a trench in the floor from nervously pacing back and forth. (Junior's crying really gets to him.)

                                                                      "Is he alright??"
I expected the dog to bring his bones to Junior's door any minute. He did that once, in a sweet and obvious effort to cheer the baby up when Junior was pulling an all-nighter (and coincidentally, so were Mr. Wonderful and I).
All I can say is, between levels 1, 2 and 3 on the fan, Junior was only happy with "3", and is currently snoozing peacefully (or is he? the fan is so loud I'm not sure I could hear him anyway!), and has been long enough to allow me to blog.  :)

So, tell me parents: Any secret weapons or tricks out there that works/worked on your little one?

Things I Never Knew...

Well, ladies and gents...you'll have to forgive my absence in these past few weeks. I've had a very good reason. And here he is:

     Meet Beau: 9 lbs and 20 inches of a rip-roaring good time! Mr. Wonderful and I couldn't be happier. Our boy is sweet, snuggly and only cries if there's actually something wrong, like the end of the world when we give him a bath. He'll be 3 weeks old the day after tomorrow, and the time has flown by like I never thought it could.There are a few things about parenthood and myself in particular I didn't realize until Beau joined our family. I thought I'd share them with you:

I Never Knew...
1.) That I could eat an entire meal in 2 minutes.
2.) That most of my meals would consist of a handful of mini pretzels and half a granola bar.
3.) That I could run from one end of our house to the other in 4 seconds.
4.) That once I got to the other end I'd have to wait through 4 minutes of Beau's screaming while a bottle    warms up.
5.) That given the choice between sleeping or eating, I'd choose sleeping every time.
6.) That a post-baby belly could be so much fun--you can roll it up, fold it in half and try to find designs in your stretch marks--like you did with clouds as a kid.
7.) That I would look at the clock before bed at night and not really know where my day went.
8.) That I could be this happy and this tired simultaneously.
9.) That watching a baby sleep could qualify as entertainment.
10.) That when your baby's in pain, you would do anything in the world--literally--to stop it.
11.) That I could shower, shave and wash my hair in the time it used to take me to do just one of those.
12.) That my former perfume habit would be replaced with "eau de milk".
13.) That two-part questions would now be out of the realm of possibility for me. I can now only
intelligently answer one.
14.) That crazy drivers could make me this angry. Don't they know I am driving around the World's Most Important Person in my backseat???
15.) That successfully retrieving a booger the size of Mt. Rushmore from my son's left nostril would feel
like such an accomplishment!
16.) That I could dole out this many kisses in one day...unsolicited, sometimes unwelcome kisses.
17.) That I could feel physically violent towards nurses who prick my son for testing purposes, then try
to say the first time might not have "taken" and they need to do it again.
18.) That I could spend so little time with my cat.
19.) That anyone so small could eat this much and this often.
20.) That I could spontaneously cry tears of joy at 4 a.m. while being spat up on.

                                            Check out the belly on this bear cub!

     Lastly I'd like to point out that if you were to hold baby photos of Mr. Wonderful next to baby photos of Junior, you may be hard pressed to tell them apart. My baby is a little carbon copy of his daddy (but with my hair and monster-grip toes)--just the way I like it. :)

     I hope to be able to blog regularly again, now that my little family and I are getting into a routine. But until then, tell me:
Did/do you resemble one parent more than another?