"Do you know how to use the coffee grinder?"
A small part of me wanted to go the way of the couple I'd just seen and say "Nope, sorry" but then the good Samaritan took over and I said "Sure! Let me help you." You should always listen to your first instinct, my friends.
I took the coffee beans, opened up the grinder, and the very second that both my hands were occupied in grinding her coffee for her, she put her hands on me.
"Oh, you poor thing! You're so pregnant, you must need a back massage..." and both her hands got busy rubbing the skin off my lower back at such a rapid pace that for a second I questioned if she had recently ingested cocaine.
Now for those of you that know me, I am already a "Hey I don't really know you so I'm not comfortable being touched by you" kinda gal. Add to that, even if I know you I have to feel very comfortable with you to touch or be touched by you. That being said, the nutty-looking woman I had just come across and was trying to assist....well, it felt like molestation. I started praying "Dear Jesus, please make her stop touching me" because if I walked away at that moment, the coffee grounds would go everywhere. Finally I said "Ya know, ma'am, if you hold the bag open with your finger like this, it'll make sure none of the coffee spills out..." and the second her hands left me, I ran for my cart and performed a dash only suitable for the Pregnancy Olympics. I stayed two aisles ahead of her for the rest of my shopping, only to find myself in the checkout lane next to her when I was finished. Keeping my back to her and praying that she wouldn't try to talk to me, I overheard her loudly telling the cashier about losing a six-week old little girl to SIDS. So not only did she molest me....then she scared me half to death with her story. Never have I been so thankful to leave......that's right, you guessed it--
Because as much money as you're capable of saving at Wal-Mart, you know you're going to come across a cross-section of odd ducks the likes of which you don't see anywhere else. (We've all seen The People of Wal-Mart emails going around...)
It was a trade-off I decided wasn't worth it. For the remainder of my pregnancy I am loyal to Hyvee, where everybody else tends to look and behave as sanely as I need them to in public, and where I have never been molested!
I am not the only one here. Across the board, pregnant women report that total strangers feel entitled to touch their bellies. Before I was pregnant I had difficulty believing people actually did that. Now I've lived it three times. A former employee, a male, had me essentially backed up against my desk rubbing my stomach with both hands, a girl I'd never seen before in my life had both hands all over my belly at a birthday party, and now the frightening woman in Wal-Mart with the unsolicited back massage. There are hundreds of articles on this phenomenon--the thinking some people have that a pregnant belly is one to be touched. Some women advise rubbing their belly right back to send home the "See how inappropriate this is?" message. Some women flat-out yell "BACK OFF!" and still others physically remove the unwelcome hand from their belly and walk away. One mother-to-be claimed it got so bad when she was in a public place that she became constantly on her guard for hands that got anywhere near her. So far I haven't developed a clear-cut course of action. Generally because I am so shocked and horrified I stand there frozen for way too long. But out of all of these, the best course of action for me would seem to be to just keep a better look-out for it, and to prevent it before it happens.
Any suggestions? It's shocking that this is a real problem, but it is!
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